If you think the world of social media is only for the young, the tall, the perfectly curated, think again. Forget perfection—sometimes the most powerful way to connect is to show up exactly as you are. I asked a visibility coach who helps women, especially those in their third act (and beyond!), step into the spotlight of their brands without apology about what it means to show up online.
Let’s talk about what keeps so many smart, talented business owners hiding behind old headshots, stock photos, and, let’s be honest, a whole lot of self-doubt. The truth is, showing up on video is scary. “Video is so powerful—and that’s why it’s so scary,” the visibility coach shares. “You can fudge a photo, but it’s much harder to fudge a video … your energy comes through.” Video doesn’t care how old your profile pic is; it demands a slice of the real you, right now, wrinkles, bed-head and all.
Why Visibility Matters
“People want to work with people they know, like, and trust. If you’re too perfect, people can’t relate to you.” For too long, there’s been a pressure—especially on women—to keep up appearances and play it safe. But in business (and life), relatability trumps perfection, every time. Stock photos may be pretty, but they aren’t you. Hiding behind them keeps you one step removed from your clients, your audience, even your own message.
The visibility coach points out that showing up is a muscle. Nobody wakes up a Broadway star or nails the Heisman on their first try. “Things can be developed,” she says. “The biggest challenge is, can you be uncomfortable? Can you breathe into being uncomfortable and take daily action?” Translation: It gets easier, but you have to do it badly before you do it well.
The Rituals Behind ‘Just Do It’
Let’s face it: there will be days when showing up feels impossible. Hair doing its own thing? New wrinkles making an appearance? Join the club. For those days, it helps to have rituals. The visibility coach’s morning always starts with prayer and meditation, a bit of journaling, and sometimes some dance warm-ups to get out of her head and into her heart. Feeding yourself with positivity, she says, helps drown out that inner critic.
“Some days I don’t totally feel it, but I show up anyway because my commitment is bigger than my considerations and my inner critic.” She never loses sight of why she’s on camera in the first place: It’s about the message, not the surface stuff. “It’s not about you; it’s about them. It’s about making a difference with my story and with my work.”
Perfection Is Not The Point
One of the biggest mindset shifts for anyone working with a visibility coach? Lose the idea that you need to be perfect. “Perfect doesn’t help anybody,” she laughs. Filters and perfect lighting might be tempting, but they can actually get in the way of real connection. “I’d rather have heart than polish any day.”
People want to see your personality, maybe even your frizzy hair or those post-spin-class, ruddy-faced moments. “Sometimes I do motivational stuff from the spin bike where I’m, like, dripping, my hair’s frizzy. But those get lots of views, too.” Turns out, authenticity wins every time.
Build Your Own Way to Show Up
Maybe you need a walk to clear your head. Maybe you queue up an inspiring playlist, make coffee, strategize your content or practice your message before hitting ‘record.’ The point: build your own rituals, your own process. Practice turns “being seen” into second nature, not torture.
And remember, every time you show up—even when it’s a mess—it gets easier. “That muscle gets a little stronger with more practice.” Just aim for done, not perfect.
Keeping It Real Goes Global
Travel, the coach believes, transforms more than your mindset—it builds empathy and connection that you can bring right back to your audience. Whether she’s soaking up the gracious energy of Portugal, navigating Lisbon’s cobblestones, or reconnecting with the basics of human kindness in a bustling European market, those experiences shape how she shows up in business and online. “Kindness is just…you don’t need a language for kindness and love and connection.” And the same applies to your online presence.
So consider this your permission slip: ditch perfection. Show up, sweat stains and all. Choose the message over the mirror. And watch your brand—and maybe even your own confidence—come alive in ways you never saw coming.
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