In recent years, an increasing number of women have chosen to focus on their careers before starting a family. This trend reflects a desire to establish financial stability and achieve professional goals before embracing parenthood. While this path comes with its own set of challenges, it also brings numerous benefits. I found myself navigating the complexities of IVF and family planning in my late 30s and early 40’s.
This article aims to shed light on the realities of delayed parenthood, the importance of understanding egg quality, and the steps women can take to better prepare for their future families. I’m glad I waited to have children until I was ready, but I wish I had understood the process of fertility preservation sooner.
Navigating Career Ambitions and Parenthood in Your 30s to 40s
Career vs. Family:
Societal and personal pressures often lead many women to prioritize their careers during their 20s and 30s. The need to establish a solid financial foundation can make the idea of starting a family seem daunting and premature. However, waiting to start a family comes with numerous advantages, including better financial stability, emotional readiness, and professional achievements.
I am grateful that I focused on my career first, as it has allowed me to be more financially and emotionally prepared to raise children. There is obviously more than one right way to do this, but for me personally; I was in a far better position as I waited until I was 40! I personally was able to embrace the transition with love, grace, acceptance, and a stable mindset.
The Cost of Waiting:
While the benefits of waiting are significant, it’s important to acknowledge the financial and biological challenges that come with delayed parenthood. The costs associated with IVF and egg freezing can be substantial. IVF can cost between $15,000 to $20,000 per round. There are a lot of factors in this claim depending on your clinic, medications, and so many other things, but to give you a slight perspective. If you are proactive in your early 30s, this might seem like a lot, but with a payment plan, you can pay it off quickly. This is far more manageable than potentially facing 4 rounds of IVF in your late 30s or early 40s.
Most people need more than one round, especially as they get older, which unfortunately and shockingly is normal. That was a big surprise to me. Understanding the financial aspects and biological timelines can help women make more informed decisions about their family planning so they are prepared!
It seems to be something we brush under the rug, hope and pray it doesn’t happen to me, and go on with our days blind to the matter because “That won’t happen to me.” I was also a complete health freak. I went to nutrition school in my late 20s, was in the health, wellness, and the medical career space. In addition, I went to every detox spa in California over the course of 12 years, partook in many biohacking modalities for anti-aging, but still found myself in this dilemma as I started to try to conceive naturally around 38.
Like many women, I assumed that I could naturally conceive at 37 without any issues. What I wish I had understood earlier is the importance of egg quality, which declines with age. Despite being in the medical and wellness space, I was shocked by the complexities I encountered during my fertility journey. I underwent multiple rounds of IVF and faced significant emotional and physical challenges. Sharing these experiences can help other women understand the importance of early planning and taking proactive steps to preserve their fertility. However, it was worth the process; so don’t let any of this deter you from planning ahead.
Fertility specialists emphasize the benefits of freezing embryos rather than eggs, particularly for women in their mid-30s. Freezing embryos offers a higher success rate and provides a more reliable backup plan for future pregnancies. Financial advisors can also offer valuable insights into managing the costs associated with fertility treatments, making it more accessible for women to take these important steps.
I highly recommend setting up an appointment with a fertility clinic and do your research ahead of time and see who their payment plan partnerships are with. Even a year or two before you are ready to take the next steps can be beneficial for those that need time to digest the process and fit it into your busy life.
Balancing Act:
Balancing a demanding career with the responsibilities of IVF treatments and eventually parenthood requires careful planning and time management. It’s crucial to communicate openly with employers about your needs and to seek support from colleagues and family members. Now speaking to employers may seem like a daunting task, but do your research of what your company may or may not provide.
I found myself in a company that did not provide paid maternity leave or any fertility benefits, which led me to leave. They were not helping me get to the next phase of my life that I so desperately needed and waited for and I didn’t have anymore time to waste. Prioritizing self-care and setting realistic expectations can also help manage the emotional and physical toll of fertility treatments. You will be at the fertility office a lot, many days without control of the timing, so you need a supportive work environment that will be willing as you navigate this scheduling.
Staying Relevant:
Women can stay relevant in their careers by leveraging flexible work arrangements, continuous professional development, and maintaining a strong professional network. It’s important to remain adaptable and proactive in managing both career and family planning goals. Once you start speaking up about it; you will be shocked about how many people around you have gone through the process themselves. You are not alone and it’s an amazing community of supportive women.
Financial Planning for Parenthood:
Employer support can make a significant difference in balancing career and family planning needs. Policies such as flexible work hours, remote work options, and comprehensive maternity leave can provide the necessary support for women undergoing fertility treatments.
My own experience led me to start my own company, ensuring I could provide for myself during this critical time. Now that may seem like an oxymoron. Why start my own business that comes with more risks. However, it allowed me to set myself up for success. Charge appropriately for my services, increase my streams of income, and provide for more savings! I created my own paid maternity leave and higher income to support my IVF treatments. Now I know that may not be feasible for all people, it was a stressful process, but I succeeded and survived and came out on top!
I am here to tell you, you can do anything you put your mind to and this was the best next transition for me as I launched my consulting practice during a time that I needed to provide more creativity in my work life balance.
Understanding the IVF Process:
It’s important for women to understand the detailed process of IVF. This includes how eggs grow through stimulation shots, are extracted through an egg retrieval, and the complexities of those eggs surviving the process of maturity, fertilization, making it to blastocysts, and then passing PGT testing. You lose so many eggs through each of these phases, which was the most surprising part of IVF to me! Don’t count on those 15 eggs you froze in your 20s… Once you involve the sperm and the steps above; you will need way more than you thought.
This complexity often necessitates more than one round of IVF, making it crucial for women to start researching how to enhance their egg quality early on. Being proactive in your early 30s can significantly improve your chances of success and reduce the number of rounds needed. Do your research, work with a fertility doctor in advance, get in alignment with a holistic functional medicine doctor, and a holistic nutritionist. Start taking the nutritional and supplemental steps at least 3 months to 1 year ahead of time.
All in all, women should be encouraged to embrace their unique journeys; celebrating their career achievements, while also pursuing their dreams of parenthood. It’s never too late to achieve both personal and professional fulfillment. By understanding the realities of delayed parenthood, taking proactive steps to preserve fertility, and seeking support, women can navigate this challenging yet rewarding path with confidence and empowerment.
Remember, knowledge is power, and with the right information and planning, you can achieve anything you set your mind to. You can have it all, with the right support and research! I hope this article helps you to get out of your comfort zone, book an appointment with a fertility specialist to learn more, so you can continue to build the career of your dreams; while having your dream family in the future when the time is right! Your mind body and soul will tell you when you are ready; so help it get there.
Empowering Voices: Guest Spotlight Adair Vilella of Lap Pausa Consulting.
At The Gal Project, we believe in the magic that happens when women come together to share their journeys, insights, and expertise. This article was written by a special guest whose voice carries the powerful essence of being BAF—bold, ambitious, and fierce. Celebrate the incredible women making waves in their fields, and let their words motivate you to live your best life!
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