The number of times I’ve sat at my desk, fuming over something a co-worker or boss did, I get it. But you shouldn’t send that angry email. Letting your fingers do the talking always seems like a clever way to handle it, much better than yelling out in the heat of the moment and not getting your thoughts or words out straight, and you feel stung and want to sting back so bad! Like, now!
But shooting off that email isn’t the solution. Take it from someone who did it: I got my zinger in, but all I did was make a bad situation worse. While email seems the easiest way to handle a confrontation, it is far from the best.
Why You Shouldn’t Send That Angry Email
- Miscommunication Spirals Out of Control
We’ve all been there—hitting “send” on an angry email feels like releasing frustration. However, emails lack tone and context, two elements crucial for conveying emotions accurately. What you intended as a stern but fair message may come across as rude or aggressive. The recipient might misread your intent, leading to a spiraling conflict that didn’t need to happen.
I fired off such an email early in my career, convinced I’d articulated my feelings perfectly. Instead, I created more tension. A series of passive-aggressive replies, meetings with HR, and apologies followed. The truth is that written words can be interpreted in countless ways, and the actual message often gets lost in translation.
- It Damages Professional Relationships
One hastily sent email can tarnish a professional relationship you’ve worked hard to build. Think about it: Would you want to collaborate on a project with someone who just sent you a scathing email? Probably not. People remember how you make them feel; an angry email can create a lasting negative impression.
I learned this the hard way. After I sent a heated email to my boss, our working relationship soured. Our trust was eroded, and it took months of effort and transparent communication to mend the damage.
- It Reflects Poor Professionalism
Sending an angry email can make you appear unprofessional and emotionally immature. In a professional setting, handling conflicts calmly and constructively is essential. Reacting impulsively might give the impression that you lack self-control and can’t handle pressure.
- It’s Permanent and Written
Emails are written records that can be forwarded, saved, and resurfaced anytime. Once you send an email, you cannot take it back. Imagine your angry words being shared with others in the office or, worse, with upper management. It’s a risk that’s not worth taking.
5. It’s Ineffective in Resolving Issues
Email isn’t the best medium for conflict resolution. It’s passive and one-sided. You can’t gauge the immediate response of the recipient, nor can you address misunderstandings in real-time. Effective conflict resolution requires dialogue, which is best achieved through a face-to-face conversation or, at the very least, a phone call.
What to Do Instead of Sending that Angry Email
- Take a Walk to Cool Down
Before you act on your anger, take a breather. Walking around the block can help clear your mind and reduce stress. Physical activity releases endorphins, making you feel better and calming your nerves. When you return, you’ll likely have a fresh perspective.
- Draft and Delay
If you still need to write down your thoughts, draft the email, but don’t hit send. Save it as a draft and revisit it after a few hours or the next day. Chances are, you’ll tone it down or realize that the issue isn’t worth the angry email.
- Talk in Person
As uncomfortable as it may be, addressing the issue in person is usually the best approach. It shows that you’re willing to handle conflict maturely and directly, and you can gauge their reactions and respond accordingly. You might find that the other person wasn’t even aware of the impact of their actions, making it easier to resolve the issue amicably.
- Seek Advice
Sometimes, discussing things with a trusted colleague or friend can offer a new perspective. They might provide insight into the situation you hadn’t considered or suggest alternative ways to address it.
- Focus on Solutions, Not Problems
When addressing the issue, focus on finding solutions rather than assigning blame. Approach the conversation with a problem-solving mindset, which is more likely to yield a positive outcome.
Conclusion
In the heat of the moment, it’s tempting to vent your frustrations through an angry email. However, the consequences often outweigh the immediate gratification. Miscommunication, damaged relationships, and a tarnished professional image are just some.